JUST MARRIED

It is quite a transition for all girls when they first get married but even more so for me. Imagine that I had lived in Manchester for over 21 years, studied there, worked in a Research Institute for about 2 years and then I am uprooted and moved to Calcutta. When my father was looking for a match for my eldest sister Hemu he would have preferred that she settles in Bombay, Delhi or even Madras but he had a slight mental block against Calcutta. After all… all you heard of was ‘the black hole of Calcutta’ However as fate would have it she was destined for Calcutta as was my second sister Suman closely followed my me also.

One thing Daddy always made a point of was that we visited India once a year and we would be based in Bombay at my grandmothers house. I remember we always used to go on the boat to Elephanta Island and then stop at Chowpatty beach on the way home.

Daddy was a deeply religious man and whenever he came to Bombay he would go to the Babulnath Mandir every day along with a number of other mandirs. He would take us to Tirupati Balaji every year in December and in fact book the tickets for the Abhishekam Darshan or some other special darshan a year in advance. I must admit I found these journeys difficult when I was young as the roads were bad, the accommodation very basic and I was always scared of the Indian style toilets! We would invariably be in Madras over Christmas and we used to stay with some close relatives whose hospitality was exceptional. I remember Daddy always used to take us to the Taj Hotel for Christmas lunch… just imagine the coincidence.. we still usually go to the Taj for Christmas lunch but in Kolkata.. what a small world we live in!

Whenever we came to India the first 3-4 days of our holiday were spent in bed with the dreaded Delhi Belly. The fact that we only ate at home and only drank boiled and cooled water made no difference… we were down with terrible loosies for the start of our holidays. Then our stomachs would settle down and all was good and we could eat our pani puri, bhel and other delicious street food with gusto.

So you must be wondering how I ended up in Calcutta. Mine was a typical arranged marriage. My Massi and Vinay’s sister were close friends and they were the matchmakers and we were introduced, spoke on our own for about half an hour and before you could blink we were engaged. Ours was a whirlwind engagement as we met in December and got married in February. I still remember how my English friends could not believe that I got engaged so quickly and that too after only one meeting but when they saw the size of my engagement ring they asked me to find boys for them too!!!

My mother had started collecting my trousseau years in advance so all I basically had to do was go back to Manchester, give in my notice and buy whatever else needed to be bought. In those days a girl was given pretty much everything but the kitchen sink. My mother was a mad hoarder (a gene she has passed on to me too) and she gave me enough toiletries, towels and bed sheets to last me for about ten years. In fact I think I still have some towels which never saw the light of day tucked away in a suitcase in my loft. I remember going sari shopping with my Mother and Chachi in Bombay… I had no clue what was in fashion or even what I liked. I would sit and read my book in the shop and just say yes to whatever they showed me!

Before I knew it I was married and living in Calcutta. In Manchester we always used to speak to Daddy in English and Mummy in Marwari so of course I didn’t know any Hindi. This fact became a great source of amusement to my in laws and many jokes were cracked at my expense. I used to speak to Vinay in only Hindi in the hopes of learning the language fast and I even had a Hindi teacher to give me some lessons. However even now I have still retained that strong Mancunian accent which I haven’t been able to get rid of despite having lived here for 44 years… I don’t mind though as I still feel I have a few of my roots with me all the time.

In hindsight… would I have liked living somewhere in India other than Calcutta? Definitely not!! Calcutta is a warm, rich vibrant place and the family and friends I have made have left a mark on my heart. I have met a whole galaxy of people ranging from Marwari to Bengali to Gujarati to Punjabi to Sindhis… and combined together they have made Calcutta my home and I feel I am extremely lucky that I landed on my feet here. This is where I believe Destiny plays a big part in shaping one’s life… who could have imagined that a young 22 year old girl having been pretty much brought up her whole life in England be uprooted to the other side of the world and settle down so happily and well here in Kolkata.