MY BABY SISTER… NINA

(27/7/1965-17/9/1998)

It is extremely difficult for me to write this tribute to Nina as it brings back a lot of sad memories but since it is her birthday I wanted to remember her and for those of you who were fortunate to have met her I know it will resonate with you and for those who didn’t meet her I hope you will understand how lovely she really was. I’m sorry it has become rather long but this was despite editing it a few times!!!

As the 27th July comes closer I get filled with a whole gamut of emotions. This is the day in the year 1965 that my little sister Nina was born in Manchester, England. She was 7 years younger than me and a full 13 years younger than my eldest sister Hemu. We all basically brought her up as my mother was so busy trying to look after 5 children, doing the cooking and cleaning of the house, buying the groceries and all the hundred and one jobs a mother has to do. Nina was a delightful girl from the day she was born and would always find her way from mummy’s bed to Hemu’s bed in the middle of the night. We all spoilt her like crazy because we saw her as our gift from God and in our eyes she could do no wrong. I remember when she was only about 2 years old she had a run in with our electric lawn mower and her whole leg was just hanging by a thread. We had a very good family friend Dr Chatterjee who was the first person we rang in the case of any emergency and he literally drove to our house at breakneck speed, picked Nina up and wrapped her leg tightly in a bath towel and rushed her to the hospital. She was in for about a month and after multiple operations and skin grafts she came home walking. This was a terribly stressful time for all of us but just see the resilience of youth. She was up and running in no time though there was a rather large scar there which we used to call her beauty mark.

After Hemu and Suman got married and my brother was at a university there were just the four of us at home. We all used to eat dinner together early at about 6pm and it was mine and Nina’s job to help mummy wash the dishes, clean the stove, wipe the tables and counters and wipe the dishes. As soon as this time came Nina would suddenly remember that she had a whole load of homework to do so she would go running upstairs leaving her chores of course. She always listened for exactly when we finished because that was when her ‘homework’ miraculously finished and she came down. Mummy would cut fruit for everyone and then I would make Daddy a cup of tea and a papad which he had before sleeping. When it was time to press Daddy’s feet Nina would yet again suddenly have to get her school bag ready or take a shower or a hundred and one other excuses!! We called her our ‘Lazy Lump’ but we all loved her so much we could never get angry at her.

When Vinay and I went to Manchester on our first trip after our marriage we decided to go to Switzerland for a week and we bought a train pass which allowed unlimited travel through Switzerland for this week and it was great fun because we made no fixed itinerary… we would just go to the station and see where the next train was going and hop onto it. We also only booked hotels once we reached the station so it was a real adventure. Nina was keen to go with us so we gladly took her but being the rather lazy girl she was she hated it when we made her walk anywhere. We went to visit the bear pit in Bern and it was quite a walk so she made her annoyance known by clomping noisily behind us all the way. We were secretly in splits but then decided that we would buy her a watch at our next destination, Geneva, as a make up gift. She was delighted and soon forgot her anger!!! She actually never got cross other than when she was hungry or when she was tired so we knew exactly how to keep her in a good mood!!

Another holiday we took her to was to Centreparks which is like a camp area with lots of activities but rather basic facilities. You have proper chalets you can stay in but no room service or suchlike and no cars are allowed in the village so you all hire bicycles and cycle everywhere. Now Madam Nina liked the bike for about 15 minutes and then decided it was too much hard work. We also enrolled her into the aerobic classes which after going to one class she just clung to mummy saying ‘ I don’t want to become thin so please save me’!!!

Since all we sisters got married in Calcutta ( as it was then) we decided that the only place for Nina was Calcutta so in December 1986 she got married in a beautiful fairytale wedding to Sourabh. She settled down with great ease and her in laws and full family loved her to bits. She was such a loving girl that my mother in law used to treat her as a daughter of our house too….sending mangoes, pickles,papads etc to her house throughout the year. Nina would come and spend the day with me once a week without fail and Sourabh would come on that day for dinner.

We used to have small dinner parties where we served raclette and fondue for my friends in my small sitting room which could only really accommodate about 8 people so sometimes I wouldn’t invite Nina but she was having nothing to do with that. She would just come and say she would sit on the floor!!

One year on Valentines Day Vinay had bought me a diamond necklace and Nina happened to be here in the morning and immediately jokingly asked where hers was. Vinay stopped at the jeweller’s on the way home and bought one for her and one for my mother. This is the kind of love she exuded.

The most exciting time was when our baby had her little baby, Aradhana, in November 1989. For some reason everyone thought she was going to have a boy and my mother, who never used to buy anything prior to the baby being born, bought a whole suitcase full of baby boy clothes… everything was blue from clothes to bibs to caps to bed sheets to blankets to towels… you name it… all blue. Nina was due anytime round Diwali and we used to have a lot of Diwali parties to attend so I sat and made a list of where each party was, the address and the landline number just in case of an emergency… there were of course no mobile phones at that time. So Diwali passes without any emergencies and then on Bhai Duj we were at Vinay’s sisters house and get a call saying she will have to be admitted but she won’t go without me. We quickly went and took her to the hospital and 2 days later our beautiful little Aradhana was born. Now when I was told it was a Girl I must admit I got a little teary… not because I didn’t want a girl but because all I could see was that suitcase full of blue rompers!!! Anyway that didn’t last long and we were all celebrating with great gusto. Nina’s mother and father in law doted on Nina and now even more on Aradhana. They used to make the baby sleep in their room so that Nina could get a good nights sleep. They really were wonderful and I can never forget them for this.

When Aradhana was only young Nina was unfortunately detected with a malignant brain tumour and we had her full treatment done in Manchester. Here again she wanted me to be with her the whole time which I gladly did. Hemu and I used to take turns sleeping at the hospital with her after her brain surgery and the nurses could not understand why we would want to stay there. This was just not done in England… in fact they would always be taken aback by the number of visitors Nina had. They were initially rather rude and told us we would have to sit in a chair all night but when they realised we were not going to leave her alone they became friendlier and used to give us a pillow and a sheet to cover ourselves on the chair. She also had radiation and chemotherapy and thankfully went into remission for a few years. However such is this terrible disease it came back after a few years and there was nothing we could do. Throughout all this Nina never once complained or moaned or even cried… she was always smiling and laughing and loved meeting everyone. However much pain or discomfort she was in she was always very positive. Mummy and I would go to her house first thing in the morning and mummy would always make a few of her favourite foods that she liked. I would stop and buy her her favourite bread or cakes and I remember she used to love not just egg fried rice but she would tell me to get triple egg fried rice!!! Aradhana is her duplicate in not only her food likes and dislikes but also her habits too!!!

She finally had to be admitted into the hospital and although she wasn’t in a coma she was in a semi comatose state. This was heartbreaking to see and one morning I was sitting with her and she was struggling to breathe and I whispered in her ear that if she couldn’t take it any more to just go and I promised her that I would look after Aradhana. I don’t know if she was waiting to hear these words but having said this I went down and mummy came to sit with her. I hadn’t even reached downstairs when my phone rang to say she had passed away. That has got to have been one of the saddest days in my life and even now not a day goes by that I don’t remember her and shed a quiet tear into my pillow. Nina was just 33 years old when she left us and Aradhana just 9….is this any age for her to be so cruelly snatched from us? She was such a kind, caring, lovely, simple, down to earth beautiful person… I still can not come to terms why God took her and whilst one learns to live with it it is just not right.

When Aradhana got married I felt a huge burden had lifted off my shoulders because I felt that I had fulfilled my promise to my dear Nina ( Sourabh has been there the whole time and I am not trying to take anything away from him but my relationship with Nina was different and this is what I am referring to) and I know that wherever she is she will be looking down on all of us with a big smile on her face and be sending loads of blessings to Aradhana and her beautiful family.

Happy Birthday my Dear Sister…. Love you loads ❤️