Uncle Bhim… Rest In Peace 🙏❤️

Bhimshankar Ruia or Uncle Bhim as I called him was my eldest Chacha and he suddenly passed away this morning. Although I had learnt of his illness just a couple of weeks ago one never imagined that he would leave so soon. It came as a huge shock and great sadness but I suppose the one positive thing we can take is that he didn’t suffer for too long and he went quietly and with dignity and didn’t cause a fuss and ruckus which he would have hated. So I have decided that I will honour him by not sitting and crying….which of course I have done…but I want to share some of my lovely memories I have of him and my time with him. 

So ‘Uncs’ was my father’s eldest brother and he was known as Uncle by pretty much everyone from me to his children even my Chachi. She also used to call him Uncle!!! He loved talking to anyone and everyone… be it a 5 year old child to an 85 year old person. He could go on for hours and hours and all you had to do was put in a small nod or a sign of agreement. He had a great sense of humour and it didn’t take much for him to burst into laughter. 

He was very fond of buying gadgets and electronics and I remember after I got engaged I went back to Manchester to do my wedding shopping and I flew back to India with Uncs and he had just purchased a video camera. In fact I think he got delivery the day before we flew. Now remember that this is 44 years ago so the camera was huge and it came in a proper suitcase which he of course hand carried on the flight and proceeded to spend the rest of the flight reading the manual and trying to figure out how this contraption worked. There was of course a whole palaver with customs when we landed in Bombay but nothing could stop Uncle when he was on a mission. He took videos throughout my wedding….I wonder where those videos went but I know he showed them to me whenever I went back to Manchester for a visit. 

Uncle has four lovely boys but they didn’t have a daughter so Chachi asked my father if they could do my Kanyadaan which he happily agreed to. Both Uncle and Chachi were inordinately proud to do this ceremony and I remember Chachi gave me some lovely bangles in one of the ceremonies. When Vinay and I went to Manchester for the first time after our marriage Uncle and Chachi took us out for dinner on our own. They specifically said they just wanted the four of us to go out. They took us to this really fancy restaurant at that time called ‘The Moss Nook’ which served excellent French food and was really posh and considered the ultimate in fine dining. I was just worried whether Vinay would like this cuisine but we ended up spending four hours over our meal, drank a copious amount of alcohol and chatted and laughed together the whole time. At the end of the meal as we were getting into the car Uncs handed an envelope to Vinay saying it was a gift from their side to us which he refused to take back despite a lot of pleading from us. In the morning we were talking to Daddy about the evening and Vinay showed him the envelope and told him he felt bad accepting it so Daddy immediately agreed and took it from him and said he would return it. I think in Vinay’s heart of hearts he was quite disappointed but I guess easy come easy go!!!

Uncle was passionate about golf and he loved it when any of his children/ grandchildren played. I travelled to Bombay once for a Ladies Golf Tournament which was being played at the Chembur Golf Club. There are rooms to stay at the course so it is very convenient just to check in there. Uncle and Chachi were in Bombay at the time as of course was another Chacha of mine, Uncle Satish, who lived in Bombay. When I phoned Uncle Satish about my programme he started insisting that I stay at home along with all my friends but luckily Uncs intervened and being a sportsman himself he realised the practicality of just staying at the club. However he did insist that they would pick us all up from the airport and we would all have lunch with them at home and then they would drop us to the club.. so about 8 of us went home and Chachi had daal, batti churma made for us and we all had a feast. Now Uncle had this captive audience of 7 women so he was in his element  and I sat with my Chachi watching the fun!!! I went to Delhi a year later and I didn’t realise Uncle was in town and I was walking up  to the 18th green and I saw a figure in the distance which looked really familiar and can you imagine… it was Uncs.. He had found out that I was playing and came to surprise me!!!

One of my nephews Abhishek is a really good golfer and turned professional for a while and he came to Kolkata to play in a couple of qualifying tournaments. Uncs came with him and they were staying with me and he used to go to the golf club first thing in the morning to watch Abs play. I used to tell him that we could go a bit later but he would go with him and spend the whole day there just enjoying being at the club. We went out for dinner to the Taj Bengal and I knew that Uncs liked  his champagne so I ordered a bottle and then a second and Vinay quietly paid for the meal. Later on Uncs found out how much they charged for this champagne and he was horrified and decided he would never ever drink champagne in India again as he said it was ‘daylight robbery’!!! We always used to remember this incident whenever we met!!! 

I remember going on a holiday with Uncle, Chachi and my four cousins to Butlins Holiday Camp. Looking back at it, it was a real hole in the wall but at the time we thought it was like a 7 star hotel. There were so many fun activities to do and we used to race around from one place to another. We were given some daily pocket money that we could spend on whatever we wanted and it used to take us ages to decide whether to buy candy floss or mint rock or spend it on the penny machines. The joys of being young!!! We also won a prize for being the ‘best family’ which was absolutely thrilling. 

I was actually playing golf when I got the news that Uncle had passed and I was crying and didn’t know what to do. I automatically just went and hit my ball and just as I thought that I was going to stop I heard him say to me ‘Suni, don’t be silly… why would you stop your golf’ and can you imagine … those words kept me going and I actually played 3 under my handicap!! It was as though he had pushed me to keep playing. I feel shaky just thinking about it and I dedicate this round to him. There are so many good memories I have with Uncle that I could just go on and on but I guess you must have got the gist. He was not only my Uncle but my Father Figure also and I know there are a lot of people who feel this way. He always remembered my father and thanked him in every speech he gave be it as his sons’ weddings to landmark birthdays to when he became Golf Captain at Dunham. He never forgot his roots and remained humble throughout his life. He was a wonderful caring human being and I am proud to call him my Uncle. So Uncs….wherever you are….here’s a big cheers to you ( with a glass of champagne of course!). I’m sure you have made heaven a lot more lively with all your stories and Chachi is once again telling you to keep quiet!!!! Love you loads